All the tasks and challenges sent to you over the past weeks have been designed to reconnect you with, and develop, these most basic of human needs. When we are open to acknowledging these essential drives in ourselves and others we will, as a matter of course, become less frustrated and impatient with those around us and more happy and at ease in with ourselves.
When we give space and time to each of these four human drives it helps develop core values which in turn develop practical competences to manage change creatively which in turn give us access to these four rooms. The Butterfly Model matrix below shows the interconnected and interdependent relationship between these drives, the values or virtues that are developed, the creative process to develop them and the impact on a person or organisation when we invest time and effort on being fully human. Fully alive.
The drive to question
A requirement of effective leadership and personal mastery is the ability to ask the right questions, at the right time and in the right way. The values or competences to do this effectively is courage and a genuine desire to see the truth of a situation. Not your version of the truth but the whole truth. The search for the virtue of truth needs courage. To develop the courage to ask the question requires passion or purpose beyond your own short-term needs or personal agenda. The spark for this initial passion is often an intuitive or ‘gut feeling’ otherwise known as spiritual intelligence. S.Q.
The drive to form relationships of value
By building effective, open and honest relationships with others we will, as a matter of course, manifest and develop compassion. Do not misinterpret compassion for weakness. Sometimes a great act of compassion requires a direct challenge to another person about their behaviour. When we seek to act with compassion to others we have to have a desire to understand them and their view of the world. This leads us into the second of our four rooms of emotional intelligence where we also acquire the virtue of goodness. E.Q.
The drive to become resilient in the face of change
To assist new learning to progress, despite disengagement and doubts requires the human need of resilience to be honed. To repeatedly try and advance despite constant setbacks will require energy and life-force. The outcome of moving from ‘knowing’ to ‘doing’ and ultimately to ‘being’ creates the virtue of beauty. Beauty not only of creating something out of nothing but of the transformation of a negative and closed state of understanding and to a more positive and open state of being. This leads us into the room of practical or applied intelligence. P.Q.
The drive to see the results of all our efforts
All of us want, at a very deep (or profoundly shallow) level, to feel that what we are doing is going to have some positive outcomes at some point. To understand, consciously what is happening and how things connect. To manage and adapt to emerging systems and situations in this moment, at this time is a great driving force. We all want to experience the virtue of gain in all its forms. The challenge, as professor Charles Handy points out, is to become ‘properly selfish’. By these he means that when we gain for ourselves and others we create value for all. When we create gain just for ourselves we deny others in the short term and ourselves over time when we realise the shallowness of our greed, anger and ignorance. Equally, when we sacrifice our own needs and wellbeing to ‘serve’ everyone else we suffer. We may even get to a point where we resent those we have sacrifice our lives to. This capacity for a dispassionate and critical eye opens the door to higher order, analytical thinking. I.Q.
In later blogs I will explore each of these four drives in more detail as there is a huge amount we can, and should, say about each of them.
But, for this week, reconnect with your drives. Create some time and space for you. Use your journal to note how many of the four drives you honour in your own life. What rooms are you going in on a daily basis and what rooms have been closed for too long? You might want to spend the next week do a little dusting and cleaning.